就是愛騎馬

跟我待過同個馬場的馬友，大概都知道我幾乎是摔馬冠軍，至於為什麼這樣，我等著有人告訴我。今天是我上馬七周年紀念日，從第一次在山海觀開始，雖然是篇血淚史，但仍能堅持著，除了捨不得我的好馬外，我也給自己鼓掌，當然，我若不騎馬，鐵定會有很深的失落感，可能會不知道要做什麼好。

今早，也許馬兒幫我慶祝還堅持著，都很捧場，也跟小邱講這件事，他笑著問我: 是不是也換過七個教練，我在馬上笑著回答:  好像差不多。實在很不好意思，用壞很多教練。

摔馬後，我需要很多的心理復健，尤其我從事高勞力，超級精密的工作，折傷個大拇指，生理上，就影響我工作半年。在這個威脅下，我的心理常要受傷更久，還好念書是我的強項，就靠一些心理建設的文章療傷，再出發。

女兒以前騎馬，後來不騎了，怎麼都叫不回，很多人問過我: 我說可能跟我摔馬多次，還陪我去急診處，住院、開刀有關。

下面是一篇簡單又不錯，摔馬後如何重拾信心的文章。

Sport Psychology for Dressage: Regaining Confidence

by Seana Adamson, Ph.D. - 17 February 2009

Question: : I had a bad fall several months ago. Though I have healed physically, I still feel a lot of anxiety when I ride. I have a new horse that is very safe and quiet. How can I start to regain my confidence?

Answer: Feeling anxious after an injury or trauma is one of the most upsetting experiences a rider can have. Of course it is quite normal, but unfortunately this kind of anxiety can be quite persistent, and can really interfere with the enjoyment of riding.

Your body, especially your nervous system’s “fight or flight” reaction, has a very good memory for trauma. The body may remember a trauma long after the mind has rationalized it away. This is part of your survival mechanism, and it is quite powerful. When this kind of anxiety becomes triggered, it can leave the rider feeling numb, weak, dizzy and terrified. Sometimes it seems to build for no apparent reason. If fear is interfering with your enjoyment, here are a couple of ideas that may help.

• Evaluate whether you are taking unnecessary risks. On numerous occasions I have had riders consult with me concerning their fear, only to find out that they were in fact in danger! Whether it was an inappropriate horse, lack of training, or a bad riding situation, these riders needed to listen to their fear. For instance, one rider kept her horse at a facility that was next to some rail road tracks. Her horse was terrified of trains. She was a beginning rider but felt she should be able to deal with the problem. Eventually she moved to a less convenient but quieter facility. After a year of training she was able to move back and handle the problem.

• Talk to your fear. Acknowledge it, and ask if it has something intelligent to say to you. It might say “Wear your helmet!”, or “Be careful of the loose dogs at the end of the arena”. If your fear says something smart, then listen. But if your fear is being unreasonable then argue with it! Working around horses always has some inherent danger, but make sure you are not taking unnecessary risks

Once you’ve listened to your fear and attended responsibly to any obvious safety issues, then respectfully tell your fear to be quiet! Distract your mind by focusing on specific, methodical exercises to build your confidence. A patient, sympathetic instructor can be very helpful, but here are some general ideas:

1. Get very good at stopping. Make sure you can ride a very controlled, balanced downward transition. When I have a student who is afraid, I have them do a lot of halts (assuming the horse doesn’t get nervous with this). The more confident you feel in your ability to stop, the more confidence you will have in letting go. This ability to stop includes learning how all of your body parts can provide security and stability in the saddle. Upper back, lower back, stomach, thigh and weight all play important roles in balance, leverage and control.

2. Confidence usually returns slowly and incrementally. For awhile it may feel very delicate. During this stage it can be helpful to learn some relaxation techniques. Breath work and progressive muscle relaxation can both be very helpful. Don’t try to ride when you feel hurried or stressed out about something else in your life.

3. If you get nervous in trot or canter then give yourself permission to get on your horse and do nothing but walk. Keep building one positive experience on top of another, and eventually your anxiety will decrease.

4. Rate your fear from 1 (completely calm) to 10 (terrified). Don’t let your number go past 5 or 6. If it does, then simplify whatever you are doing until your anxiety returns to a 3 or 4. If you are cantering, then come back to trot. If you are trotting then walk. If you are walking then dismount and hand walk your horse. Use long slow breaths combined with intentional relaxation to calm yourself. Have a simple positive affirmation you can say to yourself. Something like “I can do this”, or “relaxed body, amused mind”.

5. Spend time with your horse on the ground. Reaffirm your relationship, and your enjoyment. Recognize that you cannot control every variable. Life is dangerous from the moment you walk out your front door. There are no guarantees, especially with a horse. Be patient, methodical, and careful. Hopefully your confidence will return soon.

If your anxiety persists then seek professional help. A good therapist will have many tools to help you break the cycle of anxiety and fear. If you have any questions please feel free to contact me at seanaadams@aol.com